Another excert from my forthcoming best seller
I am in the process of writing a bookof letters to various people. here is another insert from that book.
A letter to my unborn son
Dear Son,
How are you doing? Well I hope. This is a letter to try to verbalize all the feelings I have for you even before your birth. Some of the things I didn't learn from my pops and I want you to always have something that will allow you to hear my voice even after my demise. The first thing I want you to know is that I love you. I love you so much that I would give up my life to spare yours without any hesitation. There is nothing that you could ever do that would minimize my love for you. Never forget that my love is unconditional. Hopefully, you will be have a healthy self-esteem like your old man. Always remember that you were made in God's image, the Creator of all that you survey, so there is nothing that should ever make you doubt your self worth. With that said you are now better than anyone else. Homeless person, murderer, unfit mother...NO ONE. Treat every living thing with the respect that they deserve. As I write this letter society seems to be in a decline as it relates to how we treat others, but what society does and doing what is right is by no means related so always choose to do the right thing. My job as your father is to prepare you to be a man. But many don't know what that means. It took me a long while to become a man and I promise you becoming one is a lot easier said than done. A number doesn't make you a man. So just because you are 18, 21, 25, or 30 it doesn't mean on your birthday an infusion of knowledge is embedded in your brain like some how-to-be-a-man manual. So i just wanted to share some of the "secrets" to becoming a man, at least as I see it. If I had to sum up manhood in one sentence I would say, "A man does what he has to do before he does what he wants to do." I know that it sounds simple and inevitably you will slip up a time or two, or in the case of your old man, several hundred times, but you must make sure your priorities are in order. For example, paying bills sucks. you work hard and you have to give your money to some entity that you don't really know. I mean most people have a hard time lending money to their own family. And trust me I know the feeling of wanting a new outfit or that new video game, but you don't have the money for it because the car insurance is due or the cell phone bill is due. I mena Sprint has plenty of money. They can wait a couple of extra days for your $78. That new outfit will look good on you, which in turn will make you look good to Keisha. However, a bill is your promise to pay for services rendered therefore, it is your responsibility to pay it. Remember do what you have to do, before what you want to do. Your friend's will tell you different things make you a man. These myths include being a great fighter, sleeping with as many women as possible, being a great athlete, drinking alcohol, smoking weed or doing other drugs, joining a gang, and getting a driver's license are a few that I could think of. None of those make you a man, they may make your friends admire you more, but not a man. For I will do my best to equip you with all the tools to make good decisions and become a man, but remember that in this respect, friends can be a detriment as much as they can be a benefit.
I mentioned earlier that sleeping with a bunch of women doesn't make you a man. Well prepare yourself, because your old man is going to tell you a few things about sex. The first thing that you need to know about sex is that it is wonderful. It is one of the best feelings that you will ever experience. In fact, I could even argue that the feelings you experience when you have sex rival just about every great feeling that you will feel during your exsistence. If asked about sex, i would rave on & on about it. However, like everything in life, there is another side to sex. I will always encourage you to wait until marriage to have sex, although I understand that the pressure to have sex will be immense. The often unspoken side of sex is the feeling after the act. I don't mean that tingly feeling right after. I'm talking about the next day, week & month after. What your friends or society don't often speak of is the ackward feelings between two people who don't have a deep history or love for each other after sharing the most intimate of acts with each other. You want to know one of the reasons why men get labeled dogs? Now you can't share this with your mom. Some men get labeled dogs because they simply don't know how to react to those ackward feelings. We feel confused because we like her (the lady we had sex with) but we also like that other lady (so much so that we want to sleep with her too) and our friends tell us to sleep with both (be a pimp) and society is saying sleep with them both at the same time (use AXE and it will help you accomplish that). You become so overloaded that a lot of men do what people do when they get overloaded. NOTHING. They avoid that partner altogether. They strike out against her by calling her names like slut, jumpoff, ho, etc. Or they purposely try to get her to hate them by talking to other young ladies right under her nose. Either way it is cowardly. The ackward feelings are just one aspect. There is also unplanned pregnancy. Let me be as honest with you as I can for a moment. You are not ready for the responsibility of being a father until you are a man. Being a father doesn't make you a man or woman because the clubs are full of parents who still put what they want ahead of what they need to do for their children. I had a student back in 2007 that was a mother at 15. One day I asked her for her homework and she said she didn't do it because she was at the club. Knowing she had a baby, I asked her why she didn't complete her work while she was at home watching her child. She then told me that the state placed the child with her aunt because they deemed her unfit. I asked how she was unfit and she said that she left her baby with her 10 year old sister while she went to her boyfriend's house for what ended up being 3 hours. She put her wants ahead of her responsibilities, but that's what 15 year-olds do. I was lucky that I didn't have a child before I became a man. Now that I am a man with a child, I feel ready to fulfill my duty as a father. Another reason to wait is because you want to have a child with the woman of your dreams. Your wife. A child conceived in love is a child that is loved. Lastly, there is the real possibility of disease. Son, you have the potential to be a great man. You have to minimize any risks that could hinder that potential. Too many of us African-Americans are derailed from our dreams by factors that are within our control. While protection helps, it isn't 100% safe. You must be careful and think about that before you lay down with random women. Son there are so many more gems that I want to share with you. I will continue to write letters to you so that you will always know where I stand. I love you son.
Love
Dad
A letter to my unborn son
Dear Son,
How are you doing? Well I hope. This is a letter to try to verbalize all the feelings I have for you even before your birth. Some of the things I didn't learn from my pops and I want you to always have something that will allow you to hear my voice even after my demise. The first thing I want you to know is that I love you. I love you so much that I would give up my life to spare yours without any hesitation. There is nothing that you could ever do that would minimize my love for you. Never forget that my love is unconditional. Hopefully, you will be have a healthy self-esteem like your old man. Always remember that you were made in God's image, the Creator of all that you survey, so there is nothing that should ever make you doubt your self worth. With that said you are now better than anyone else. Homeless person, murderer, unfit mother...NO ONE. Treat every living thing with the respect that they deserve. As I write this letter society seems to be in a decline as it relates to how we treat others, but what society does and doing what is right is by no means related so always choose to do the right thing. My job as your father is to prepare you to be a man. But many don't know what that means. It took me a long while to become a man and I promise you becoming one is a lot easier said than done. A number doesn't make you a man. So just because you are 18, 21, 25, or 30 it doesn't mean on your birthday an infusion of knowledge is embedded in your brain like some how-to-be-a-man manual. So i just wanted to share some of the "secrets" to becoming a man, at least as I see it. If I had to sum up manhood in one sentence I would say, "A man does what he has to do before he does what he wants to do." I know that it sounds simple and inevitably you will slip up a time or two, or in the case of your old man, several hundred times, but you must make sure your priorities are in order. For example, paying bills sucks. you work hard and you have to give your money to some entity that you don't really know. I mean most people have a hard time lending money to their own family. And trust me I know the feeling of wanting a new outfit or that new video game, but you don't have the money for it because the car insurance is due or the cell phone bill is due. I mena Sprint has plenty of money. They can wait a couple of extra days for your $78. That new outfit will look good on you, which in turn will make you look good to Keisha. However, a bill is your promise to pay for services rendered therefore, it is your responsibility to pay it. Remember do what you have to do, before what you want to do. Your friend's will tell you different things make you a man. These myths include being a great fighter, sleeping with as many women as possible, being a great athlete, drinking alcohol, smoking weed or doing other drugs, joining a gang, and getting a driver's license are a few that I could think of. None of those make you a man, they may make your friends admire you more, but not a man. For I will do my best to equip you with all the tools to make good decisions and become a man, but remember that in this respect, friends can be a detriment as much as they can be a benefit.
I mentioned earlier that sleeping with a bunch of women doesn't make you a man. Well prepare yourself, because your old man is going to tell you a few things about sex. The first thing that you need to know about sex is that it is wonderful. It is one of the best feelings that you will ever experience. In fact, I could even argue that the feelings you experience when you have sex rival just about every great feeling that you will feel during your exsistence. If asked about sex, i would rave on & on about it. However, like everything in life, there is another side to sex. I will always encourage you to wait until marriage to have sex, although I understand that the pressure to have sex will be immense. The often unspoken side of sex is the feeling after the act. I don't mean that tingly feeling right after. I'm talking about the next day, week & month after. What your friends or society don't often speak of is the ackward feelings between two people who don't have a deep history or love for each other after sharing the most intimate of acts with each other. You want to know one of the reasons why men get labeled dogs? Now you can't share this with your mom. Some men get labeled dogs because they simply don't know how to react to those ackward feelings. We feel confused because we like her (the lady we had sex with) but we also like that other lady (so much so that we want to sleep with her too) and our friends tell us to sleep with both (be a pimp) and society is saying sleep with them both at the same time (use AXE and it will help you accomplish that). You become so overloaded that a lot of men do what people do when they get overloaded. NOTHING. They avoid that partner altogether. They strike out against her by calling her names like slut, jumpoff, ho, etc. Or they purposely try to get her to hate them by talking to other young ladies right under her nose. Either way it is cowardly. The ackward feelings are just one aspect. There is also unplanned pregnancy. Let me be as honest with you as I can for a moment. You are not ready for the responsibility of being a father until you are a man. Being a father doesn't make you a man or woman because the clubs are full of parents who still put what they want ahead of what they need to do for their children. I had a student back in 2007 that was a mother at 15. One day I asked her for her homework and she said she didn't do it because she was at the club. Knowing she had a baby, I asked her why she didn't complete her work while she was at home watching her child. She then told me that the state placed the child with her aunt because they deemed her unfit. I asked how she was unfit and she said that she left her baby with her 10 year old sister while she went to her boyfriend's house for what ended up being 3 hours. She put her wants ahead of her responsibilities, but that's what 15 year-olds do. I was lucky that I didn't have a child before I became a man. Now that I am a man with a child, I feel ready to fulfill my duty as a father. Another reason to wait is because you want to have a child with the woman of your dreams. Your wife. A child conceived in love is a child that is loved. Lastly, there is the real possibility of disease. Son, you have the potential to be a great man. You have to minimize any risks that could hinder that potential. Too many of us African-Americans are derailed from our dreams by factors that are within our control. While protection helps, it isn't 100% safe. You must be careful and think about that before you lay down with random women. Son there are so many more gems that I want to share with you. I will continue to write letters to you so that you will always know where I stand. I love you son.
Love
Dad
posted by William | 8:23 PM
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